How we get stuck as a Reluctant Adapter

Change happens. When we make it happen, we say change is good. When change happens to us, it can be another story entirely.

Let’s say your boss, with whom you have a good working relationship, gives notice. Are you stunned? Probably. Then, when the shock wears off, fear creeps in.  Who will replace him? What if it’s Jean, who doesn’t like me? Will the new boss value what I do? What if I apply for the job and get turned down? Will I lose my job?

All of these thoughts are natural — you’re assessing an unexpected situation. The rub comes when we keep assessing, over and over, letting our fears spin us into a stuck state. In this moment, we’re acting like a reluctant adapter. And what we’re experiencing is a gap in what we believe.

Going back to the scary old boss-new boss moment, we’re stuck because we can’t land on what this change means for us. What we’ve known to be true no longer is, and that’s scrambled how we think about the situation to the point where we can’t see straight.

At times like this, we need to take a gut-check. This helps us tap into how we feel rather than trying to unravel what we think. It’s listening to our inner voice—which isn’t being heard over the noisy thoughts in our head—to guide our decision about what to do next.

Try these three ways to face up to change by uncovering what you really believe.

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