Posts tagged: Aimless

Is it okay to let someone else call the shots?

| August 11, 2014
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Stuck moment: I guess I stopped caring enough about what I want. Everything seemed to be going fine, so it was easier to nod and go along with stuff — even if my heart wasn’t in it. But now it feels like I have no say, and that’s kind of cruddy.

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We get stuck as Drifters when we stop acting in our own best interest. Life’s twists, turns, and demands can weaken our resolve, and in those moments we convince ourselves that things shouldn’t be so challenging. At least that’s our reasoning for taking the path of least resistance. Before we know it, the easy way becomes a habit. So instead of directing our lives according our own wishes and hopes, we just borrow someone else’s. Or we reject the idea of wishing and hoping at all. 

However you got derailed — there are at least four main ways read more

A purpose guide for everyone

| November 18, 2013
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When we stop listening to the inner voice that tells us who we are and what we value — that’s when we get stuck. When we allow the world to make our decisions for us, our to-do list transforms from planning tool to unwelcome tyrant. We feel busy, but we wonder, “Is this it? Where’s the excitement?”

Sure, we could ditch the day job to write the Great American Novel, or pack our bags for a Peace Corps adventure, but the truth is, we don’t have to go further than our own heart to find what fulfills us. Purpose is, after all, a process of decision-making, of matching your core values with what you do in your daily life.

When you define your purpose and commit to it, wonderful things become possible:

• A sense of integrity and consistency.• A sense of being in the zone. Life becomes more navigable. Decisions become more read more

Finding purpose: 20 true stories

| November 11, 2013
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Rumor has it that thinking about purpose is a luxury — an exercise for do-gooders or artistic souls who somehow got caught in finance careers. Purpose doesn’t pay the bills (hey, it won’t even do the dishes), so why bother thinking about it?

Because, plainly put, purpose defines who we are and what we do in life. To prove our point, we tracked down 20 people who shared their stories of when they discovered purpose — and stopped hitting the snooze button. Their enthusiasm is contagious. read more

The three simple sentences that saved my life

| October 31, 2013
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What’s that sound?

That’s the sound of your soul, dying.

Those two sentences spun out of my head one day while I was sitting at a great-paying, health-insurance covered, lots-of-friends-for-lunch kind of job. I was a project assistant for an engineering firm near Portland, Maine. It was a fine place. The company allowed dogs. I was the singer in the company rock band. I had a cute cube that I had fixed up to suit my personal aesthetic. I had a view of the front parking lot and the woods beyond.

And I was so depressed.

I was staring out at that parking lot when those sentences both asked and answered themselves. Thankfully, a third sentence followed.

Well, that’s not going to happen. 

In a way, the company I worked for was the impetus for the realization that I’d better live my own passion, and I had better live it now. Not in another year. Not tomorrow. Now. read more

Unstuck is about listening to yourself

| May 23, 2013
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If anyone knew what he wanted, it was Steve Jobs. A real steady Eddie. But for the rest of us mortals, getting sidetracked — and not even knowing it — comes much easier. That’s when we get stuck acting like a Drifter, allowing someone else’s agenda to become our own. If you think you’ve gotten off track, try these exercises to figure out what you really read more

Unstuck is about having aspirations

| April 29, 2013
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We love goals. They give us purpose. Organize our actions. And extend our thinking beyond “What’s for lunch?” We also love the idea that even if we don’t reach our ideal, through practice, we get closer to it. We start out clumsy and inexpert. But push through our frustration until it gets a tiny bit easier. We keep trying, keep practicing. Keep inching toward our aspiration. On occasion, we look back and we’re amazed with how far we’ve come.

Here are 10 goals that we think are worth the practice. They could change your life, even if you don’t perfect read more

Unstuck is about being who you really are

| March 11, 2013
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Sometimes we get stuck because we don’t know what we want. Often, that’s because we spend more time listening to what other people want, both for themselves and for us, than we do to ourselves. In Unstuck parlance, we call this acting like a Drifter. But it doesn’t have to be a permanent state. There are ways to figure out what you read more

How we get stuck acting like a Drifter

| December 19, 2012

Stuck moments often start with wanting something to be better in our lives. But on occasion, we get stuck when we don’t know what we want. Sure, we have options, we’re just not certain which ones are most important to us.

This can happen because we’re actively listening. It’s a wonderful quality to have. But sometimes, we listen so much that the jumble of opinions we hear overwhelms our own views.

Even the best-intentioned people in our lives can unintentionally promote their own agendas to us. When you look below the surface of what they are saying, you may discover that they are fearful of something that isn’t a concern to us. Or their goal doesn’t fit well in our own lives. Their outlook could be contrary to what we believe and how we want to act. Or, they simply make it their job to be a naysayer.

We may also have some read more

How to figure out what you want

| December 19, 2012

It’s all too easy to lose sight of we truly want. Digital overload, societal conventions, agendas from work, friends, family — all of these compete with our personal motives.  To get back to our beliefs, we need to get a little selfish (in a good way). One or more of these techniques should help. 

Think about yourself• Remind yourself that you don’t have to prove anything or prove someone wrong. This will free up energy to pursue your own agenda.

• It’s natural to look for patterns to predict the future, but what works for someone else won’t necessarily work for you. Your circumstances are your own, so if you want to look for patterns, review your own life.

• What’s the single thing you hope to achieve before you die? Candy Chang poses this defining question in a way that makes you think a little deeper. Watch the video.

• A read more

What’s the right goal for you?

| December 18, 2012

A goal is a stuck moment turned inside out. “I’m stuck in an unhealthy relationship” can translate into “I want a relationship with someone who listens to me.” But when we’re stuck acting like a Drifter, identifying your objective requires a different perspective.

Our world is full of competing agendas. Everyone, it seems, thinks they know best about what and how and when things should be done. And these messages come at us from all angles: Advertisements, books, the internet, our parents, our kids, our friends, our coworkers. It’s enough to make a thoughtful person not know what to think.

A helpful way to cut through the noise is to ask yourself pointed questions about the goals you are considering for yourself. It’s a solitary activity that requires no feedback, not even from your most trusted pal. Find yourself a quiet space and prepare to be utterly honest. Ready, set, think!

• Where read more