Posts tagged: Deflated Doer

How to spot an opportunity


April 8, 2015
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Stuck moment: My life, in a word? Uneventful. Sure, I’ve got plenty of things to do. And I do them. Every. Day. The same. Way. Why don’t interesting things happen in my life?

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Way back in 1969, Peggy Lee sang the Grammy-winning song, “Is That All There Is?” It’s the story of a person who experiences life’s milestones and ends up disappointed each time. Isn’t there more to it? Is that all there is?

We’ve all felt it at times. Maybe we rushed to adulthood with open arms, surprised to find it riddled with responsibility and taxes. Or our marital bliss became a grind of daily compromise. Perhaps that promising new job devolved into paperwork and PowerPoint.

We’re left wondering, Where’s my opportunity? When and where does my ship come in?

The answer is: Right there, right where it’s always been. But we need to see differently
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The Sound of Music: Captain von Trapp gets unstuck as a Deflated Doer


June 19, 2014
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His stuck moment: A widowed father of seven, Captain von Trapp keeps happiness at arm’s length since his wife died, treating his children like subordinates in a small naval regiment. He instructs the new governess, Maria (much to her dismay), to use militaristic calls with his children.

He gets (re)stoked: When the captain returns from a trip, he hears his children singing, beautifully, taught by Maria. He joins them in song and soon the distance between father and offspring narrows.

Unstuck result: Reacquainted with the joys of human connection, Captain von Trapp realizes he loves the free-spirited Maria and calls off his engagement to the icy Countess Elsa Schräder, who wanted to ship his kids off to boarding
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7 ways to get restoked


March 14, 2014

Routine makes the world go ‘round, but it can also get us down if our lives become too regimented. Here’s a handful of ideas to shake things up a bit and help you feel invigorated about life again.

1. Go out to eat by yourself.2. Become a pen pal to an overseas soldier.3. Throw a surprise party.4. Complete a random act of kindness.5. Fill and bury a time capsule. (Could be a mason jar with a few items.)6. Compliment someone you don’t like.7. Paint a room.

Thanks to Karen Amster-Young and Pam Godwin for this list. You can find hundreds more ideas in their book The 52 Weeks: Two Women and Their Quest to Get Unstuck, with Stories and Ideas to Jumpstart Your Year of Discovery.

Learn more about how Karen and Pam got unstuck at read more

How to find your missing motivation


February 20, 2014
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The biggest sign that we’re acting like a Deflated Doer is when we stop caring as much about doing our best. It feels pretty rotten. What used to inspire us can’t compete with an overwhelming sense of futility. We’re unmotivated. Just going through the motions.

But for every stuck moment, there is a way to move forward — guaranteed. For Deflated Doers, it’s about seeing the situation in a new way. What way? you ask. That depends, we answer.

There are four kinds of Deflated Doers (take our mini-quiz to discover your tendency).

Discouraged Doers are puzzled that their driving enthusiasm has landed them on the sideline instead of the finish line. They need to take stock of the reality of the situation.

Detached Doers have distanced themselves from others, and that outsider feeling leaves them less inclined to give their all. They need to figure out a more engaging role
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When motivation plummets: What kind of Deflated Doer are you?


February 14, 2014
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Stuck moment: Your motivation has gone missing. It was here just the other day, helping you dig in, think bigger, and high-five with everyone. But now, well, you’re feeling kind of flat about things. Take it or leave it. What does it matter, anyway?

These are the telltale signs of a Deflated Doer — the once-and-future go-getter who needs to get re-stoked. Like most things human, there is more than one path to this point. And how you got there determines how you get unstuck.

To zero in on your deflated moments, take our mini-quiz below to find out what kind of Deflated Doer you tend to be, plus the approach that will best help kick you into gear again. We’ll follow up next week with exercises tailored for each type of Doer.

MINI-QUIZ:Think of a time when you lost your motivation for something that you usually enjoy. It helps to have
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5 ways travel can help overcome a negative mindset


August 29, 2013
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Routine can be such a double-edged sword. We need it to make our world go ’round. To take the strain off rethinking everything every time. This frees up brain space for more complicated thoughts, like researching cost-effective energy sources or designing your wee one’s Halloween costume. Advantage: Us.

But regimen can also feel relentless and numbing. It’s often the culprit when we get stuck as a Deflated Doer. That’s when we lose sight of why we got involved in the first place, so our passion and motivation plummet. And when that happens, negative thinking has a tendency to take over.

• I went to grad school for this?• My life is one, long dirty diaper.• How did I end up working for her?• My dreams are dead in the water.• Might as well keep smoking/drinking/you-name-it.

That’s roughly the state of mind Dylan Thuras found himself in a few years ago, though you
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How we get stuck acting like a Deflated Doer


February 11, 2013

Into all our lives a little tedium must fall, but when we’re in a Deflated Doer moment, that tedium (dread, boredom, restlessness — name your poison) outweighs our motivation in unwelcome proportion. We feel sad or annoyed and angry. We stop giving it our all, and start looking around for something better. We’re disgruntled, discouraged, and dismayed. Heavy sigh.

What we’re not doing is seeing the whole picture. It’s like our vision is laser-focused on what’s wrong, wrong, wrong. And that takes up the energy we have to turn it around. It may help to know that you’re not the only one (16% of stuck moments come up as Deflated Doer in the Unstuck app), but commiseration doesn’t change things.

The remedy is to look at your situation differently. Unstuck’s “Shake Up Your Routine” tool helps you think about what you want to stop, start, and continue doing. In addition, you could
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5 quick(ish) fixes to get you re-inspired


February 11, 2013

What causes something we love (or at least enjoy) to go a bit stale? We can think of three broad reasons: The situation is more complicated than it needs to be. Or the situation is more limiting than it needs to be. Or we’re taking things for granted. Finding fresh perspective is a strong antidote.

If your situation is kind of complicated:•  Simplify. In our pursuit of perfection, many of us tend to add steps or people to the process that aren’t absolutely necessary. In addition to freeing up time, minimizing or eliminating can cut through the noise that blocks motivation.• Stop stressing. Habits like procrastination and excessive worry introduce pressure that instantly saps inspiration and joy.

If your situation is kind of limiting:Change things up. Is there another way, maybe even a better way? Challenge yourself to improve the process. Just thinking about making a difference can get
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