Posts tagged: Drifter

How to escape the busyness trap

| March 24, 2015
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“I’m so busy!”

It’s the auto-pilot response to “How are you?” these days. And of course we are busy. In addition to family, friends, and work, we’ve got a whole world at our fingertips to keep up with.

All this busyness can be overwhelming. But it can also be comforting — for a couple of reasons. Being busy brings a kind of badge of honor that the world needs us. It’s also an excellent way to steer clear of life’s thornier issues.

And that’s when we can get stuck — taking life as it comes rather than giving direction to how we spend our days.

I’m busy, therefore I amQuick story: Ann was waiting for the restroom at one of Boston’s trendier brunch places. A woman got in line behind her and casually began complaining about her lack of free time. So many obligations on the weekends, she said, kept her read more

Is it okay to let someone else call the shots?

| August 11, 2014
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Stuck moment: I guess I stopped caring enough about what I want. Everything seemed to be going fine, so it was easier to nod and go along with stuff — even if my heart wasn’t in it. But now it feels like I have no say, and that’s kind of cruddy.

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We get stuck as Drifters when we stop acting in our own best interest. Life’s twists, turns, and demands can weaken our resolve, and in those moments we convince ourselves that things shouldn’t be so challenging. At least that’s our reasoning for taking the path of least resistance. Before we know it, the easy way becomes a habit. So instead of directing our lives according our own wishes and hopes, we just borrow someone else’s. Or we reject the idea of wishing and hoping at all. 

However you got derailed — there are at least four main ways read more

The Help: Aibileen Clark gets unstuck as a Drifter

| June 19, 2014
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Her stuck moment: A black maid for a white family in 1962 Jackson, Mississippi, Aibileen lost her purpose in life when her son died in an accident and her husband deserted her. She resents her position in society, but is resigned to it.

She sets a goal: Recent college grad Skeeter asks Aibileen to help her write a book about the indignities that she and other maids in Jackson endure. At first hesitant, Aibileen realizes that she can help change her community for the better.

Unstuck result: Working on the book helps Aibileen gain confidence in her own writing, something she did privately since childhood. When she is fired from her domestic position, she ponders becoming a professional writer like Skeeter. (In the novel, Aibileen lands a job writing household hints for the local read more

Unstuck is about listening to yourself

| September 18, 2013
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Getting stuck as a Drifter — not knowing what we really want —often happens because we’re such good listeners to other people. It’s a wonderful, endearing quality, but sometimes it interferes with listening to ourselves. Here are 11 ways to figure out what’s important to read more

Unstuck is about writing your own story

| June 20, 2013
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We love checklists. They are one of the best ways to keep us on track. Like packing for a trip. Planning a party. Getting taxes done. But there is no checklist for your life — unless you write it. There are plenty who will differ: When are you going to have kids? You don’t own a house yet? You should get a master’s degree. But only you know what you really should do. Here’s how to figure out what that read more

Unstuck is about listening to yourself

| May 23, 2013
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If anyone knew what he wanted, it was Steve Jobs. A real steady Eddie. But for the rest of us mortals, getting sidetracked — and not even knowing it — comes much easier. That’s when we get stuck acting like a Drifter, allowing someone else’s agenda to become our own. If you think you’ve gotten off track, try these exercises to figure out what you really read more

Unstuck is about having aspirations

| April 29, 2013
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We love goals. They give us purpose. Organize our actions. And extend our thinking beyond “What’s for lunch?” We also love the idea that even if we don’t reach our ideal, through practice, we get closer to it. We start out clumsy and inexpert. But push through our frustration until it gets a tiny bit easier. We keep trying, keep practicing. Keep inching toward our aspiration. On occasion, we look back and we’re amazed with how far we’ve come.

Here are 10 goals that we think are worth the practice. They could change your life, even if you don’t perfect read more

Unstuck is about being who you really are

| March 11, 2013
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Sometimes we get stuck because we don’t know what we want. Often, that’s because we spend more time listening to what other people want, both for themselves and for us, than we do to ourselves. In Unstuck parlance, we call this acting like a Drifter. But it doesn’t have to be a permanent state. There are ways to figure out what you read more

Unstuck is about knowing what you believe in

| February 18, 2013
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When we lose sight of what’s important to us, it’s easy to get stuck acting like a Drifter or Deflated Doer. Rediscovering what we believe in can get us read more

Unstuck is about setting priorities

| February 18, 2013
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You can’t do it all — it doesn’t matter who you are. Time is limited. So is our energy. So we have to make a choice about how we spend our days. And when we do consciously decide what we want to pursue most, things suddenly seem lighter. We know where we’re going and why. And how. Because now we have our personal north read more