Posts tagged: Waffler

What to do when you can’t decide

| December 3, 2014
three faces of indecision

In the days after the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center, many of us focused on what was missing. The New York City skyline felt bare. The world felt altered. And, in the quiet Brooklyn neighborhood of Prospect Heights, an out-of-work actor named Delissa Reynolds sought comfort in the ways she knew best — food, friends, a sense of belonging.

“It was a very tender time,” says Delissa. “People in the neighborhood really drew in together. We’d have weekend gatherings, usually at my house, where anyone could come to hang out, sometimes just over rice and beans.”

These “Sunday dinners” helped transform the experience of loss into a celebration of togetherness. And, for Delissa, they became the spark for Bar Sepia, a pioneering neighborhood bar and restaurant she’d open three years later. Next month, her dream project turns 11 — a milestone unimaginable back in those “tender” read more

Moulin Rouge: Satine gets unstuck as a Waffler

| June 19, 2014
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Her stuck moment: Star courtesan Satine is torn between two men: Christian, the poor writer whom she loves, and the wealthy and dastardly Duke, her patron and an investor at the cabaret Moulin Rouge, where she works.

She takes a stand: When Christian confronts Satine on stage on opening night, she faces a moment of truth. With the jealous Duke watching from the audience, she goes with her gut and declares her love for Christian in defiant song.

Unstuck result: The couple affirms their love, inspiring Christian to immortalize Satine in read more

Question: What’s the worst that can happen?

| March 13, 2014

For some of us, this question releases us from worry. But for people who tend to waffle, the query sends us down the rabbit hole, chasing every possible scenario — good and bad — instead of making a decision. Ouch!

Unstuck’s “Pros vs. Pros” tool is a fast way to stop hesitating and start choosing. If you’re on your iPad, click to go directly to the tool (this won’t work if you’re using Unstuck on the web). Or download the free Unstuck iPad app read more

Unstuck is about making a difference now

| April 10, 2013
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Perfection is such a funny thing. The idea of perfect sounds so good. No flaws, nothing to double-check. Just perfect. But — the pursuit of perfection can get us stuck. We get so  immersed in exploring every angle that we can’t take a stand, one way or the other. That’s when we’re stuck acting like a Waffler. That’s when we need to stop thinking and start trusting our read more

Making a wrong decision can be good for you

| November 1, 2012

Sometimes when we’re acting like Wafflers, it’s because we aren’t using our gut instinct to help us make a choice (see “How to use your gut instinct to make a decision”). Other times, it’s because we don’t trust our instinct. We’re afraid of making the wrong choice. Of not being perfect. Of failing. So we put it off.

Ironically, not deciding is a form of failure. In addition to giving up our right to decide, whether tiny (Should I order the fish or the beef?) or monumental (Should I relocate my family?), we miss the opportunity to learn from our decisions.

When you think about it, wrong decisions can help us make right decisions. I ordered the fish and learned that I prefer beef. I decided not to move my family and learned that we could use a change.

Taking it a step further, a wrong decision is just a detour read more

How to use your gut instinct to make a decision

| November 1, 2012

When we can’t decide between two or more choices, we’re stuck acting like a Waffler. To get unstuck, we need to follow our gut instinct — listening to your inner voice lets you take action, and more often than not, it’s the right one for you. 

What is gut instinct? “Gut instincts are the sum total of [your] experiences — millions and millions and millions of them. And that sum total enables you to make reasonable decisions,” says Bob Lutz,  who used his instinct to turn around Chrysler in the 1990s.

Instinct, the opposite of logical reasoning, tell us viscerally if something feels right or wrong. And it signals us in a variety of ways.

• When a decision isn’t right, we may experience sweaty palms, sleeplessness, an upset stomach, or loss of energy.

• If our gut is telling us we’ve made the right decision, we may feel a sense of peace read more

How we get stuck acting like a Waffler

| October 26, 2012
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It’s easy to tell when we’re acting like a Waffler: We simply can’t make a decision. Sometimes called “analysis paralysis,” this happens when we think and think and think about the choices until we’re frozen with indecision. We see the pros and the cons of each side, but can’t prioritize one over the other.

People who act like Wafflers on a regular basis tend to be super smart. Their minds can sprawl and crawl aspects of an idea that rarely occur to the rest of us. Inquisitive by nature, they want to be absolutely certain of their decision based on all the evidence.  Makes sense, right? But when they start asking questions like “what if he doesn’t like it?” or “what if the money runs out?” the possibilities grow exponentially and the swirl begins.

There are two key concepts that stop the swirl:

1. Trusting your gut instinct, and

2. Believing that most decisions read more

Unstuck in Action: Helping nonprofits realize their visions

| April 4, 2012
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Travis Hellstrom is an Unstuck super-user. He immediately grasped the power of the app’s 11 tools and started applying them to his work at New Media Foundation, a nonprofit that counsels and supports other nonprofits. 

Here, he tells how the app’s tools have helped him through his own and others’ stuck moments.

Name: Travis Hellstrom

Age: 26

Location: Mongolia. Originally from North Carolina, Travis came to the Eastern Steppes in 2008 as part of the Peace Corps approximately three years ago. He has since left the Corps and plans to remain in Mongolia for the next year, then return to the U.S.

Occupation: He is founding CEO of New Media Foundation as well as founder and chief blogger for Advance Humanity, which launched in September 2011. The mission is to help people change the world in ways they feel most passionately about: “I try to make it easier for them to do those read more

The virtue of the waffler

| January 9, 2012
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Indecisive people are among the smartest we know. Sure, it’s easy to be impressed with that person who shoots from the hip, always has an answer at the ready, and tries to decide everything for everyone. But is that really a display of intelligence or something else altogether?

Wafflers tend to think things through, weighing all the options carefully in an effort to make the right choice. When they get to their decision, it’s likely a sound one. It’s just the getting there that can get them stuck. That’s why wafflers need to listen to their gut instincts.

What are you waffling read more

Amy Tan’s Stuck Moment as a Waffler

| October 18, 2011
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Her stuck moment: As a frustrated partner in a technical writing business, Tan spent most of her working days toiling over estimates and collecting bills, instead of writing.  

She takes a stand: When Tan’s partner refused to give her more writing assignments, she quit to go freelance, following her passion for words rather than her need for a steady job. 

Unstuck result: Despite long hours as a freelance technical writer, Tan found time to work on her fiction. In 1990, her bestseller “The Joy Luck Club” was published.

(All information comes from public sources and does not imply endorsement of read more