What’s the right goal for you?

A goal is a stuck moment turned inside out. “I’m stuck in an unhealthy relationship” can translate into “I want a relationship with someone who listens to me.” But when we’re stuck acting like a Drifter, identifying your objective requires a different perspective.

Our world is full of competing agendas. Everyone, it seems, thinks they know best about what and how and when things should be done. And these messages come at us from all angles: Advertisements, books, the internet, our parents, our kids, our friends, our coworkers. It’s enough to make a thoughtful person not know what to think.

A helpful way to cut through the noise is to ask yourself pointed questions about the goals you are considering for yourself. It’s a solitary activity that requires no feedback, not even from your most trusted pal. Find yourself a quiet space and prepare to be utterly honest. Ready, set, think!

• Where did this goal come from?

• What does this goal say about who I am?

• What is the motivation behind this goal? Am I trying to avoid confrontation? Is it to please someone else?

• Do I have enough drive and belief in myself to achieve this goal?

• When I achieve this goal, will the satisfaction be enough reward or will I depend on others’ praise to make it meaningful to me?

As you answer these questions, listen to your gut. If those instincts have gone temporarily missing, try these exercises to help you locate it.

More Unstuck Advice

5 steps to bounce back from a bad day Image by Unstuck artist-in-residence Bridgette Zou                       (This Feels Nice Series, 2017, © Bridgette Zou)   A bad day start...
What a Netflix show taught me about my break-up In the aftermath of a recent break-up, I managed to binge watch the entire second season of the Netflix show Master of None over the course of a weeke...
The one word getting in your way As you probably remember from when you first heard should as a kid, that little word packs a hefty wallop. You should brush your teeth. You should go ...